Panda would be down to travel to other countries.
Canada, Puerto Rico, Mexico, Guam — Panda has already found its way to a bunch of places, so it’d obviously be a wanderlusty-as-heck human. You’d be able to take photos in all of those cheesy traveling couple poses!
Panda looks good regardless of lighting and filters.
Styrofoam, plastic fork, orange chicken piled on, that’s when you look delicious-est, I hope that you don’t take it wrong.
Panda is currently at the perfect age.
Panda is 33 years old which means it’s literally peaking right now. What better time to get romantically involved with the happiest version of Panda there’ll ever be?
Panda has no shady secrets regarding its whereabouts.
For all of the insecure, suspicious daters out there who don’t trust their significant others — imagine if they were willing to tell you their precise location at any given time? Panda Express literally does that by telling you where ALL OF THE PANDAS are.
Panda is always down to try new things.
They once created an orange chicken burrito. So open-minded.
Panda always knows exactly what to say, and delivers words so eloquently, whether it’s a wonderful life perspective…
It’d be like dating a brilliant poet.
Or a simple reminder to be a better person…
You’re right, babe, thanks for reminding me…
Or a flirty little message…
Is that code, Panda?
Panda always takes good care of itself and keeps everything fresh.
Feast your eyes on those sexy ingredients, sliced, trimmed, and peeled daily for your satisfaction.
Panda is considerate and conscious of your insecurities.
A lot of people don’t know how to use chopsticks and get embarrassed about it, but Panda introduced a combo utensil called the “chork.” Wow, so thoughtful.
Panda is always available by phone.
You’ll never have to worry about waiting long to hear back via text, because anytime you contact Panda, they’ll immediately get ready for you.
Panda would throw a heck of a party.
They’ve got a catering service which means they can handle the responsibility of satisfying large groups of people.
Panda would listen and pay attention to you.
You know how hard it is to find someone who cares what you like these days? That’s a hot commodity, but the Panda app remembers your past orders. It knows what you like 😉
You’d impress your family when you bring Panda home.
When someone introduces the person they’re dating to their parents and siblings, they want them to be impressed. Well, best believe if you show up with Panda in hand, you’re going to get a good response.
You’d be comfortable sleeping with Panda.
Being able to comfortably share a bed and get good sleep together is important for couples. Well, what food makes you sleepier after eating it than Panda Express? Imagine going steady with Panda and having those high quality snooze sessions for a lifetime — that’s a happily ever after.